Since the last post there have been somethings that seem to be going for us. One of our concerns was the fact that Edgar had no medical insurance and the first time that we took him to the Dr the bill was over $200 just for a checkup. After several hours on the phone and filling out lots of paperwork we finally figured out how to get Medi-Cal for Edgar. After going around and around with the Medi-Cal people i called them and asked them why they needed Juan and my financial information when we really had nothing to do with if they were going to give him the coverage or not. The lady on the phone questioned me and said “So you do not want insurance for you and Juan?” I told her no and then the light finally clicked for these people and they sent me in the right direction. The lady on the phone told me that I was requesting to be a “Needy Caregiver” which in turn is someone that is a guardian of a child but is unable to add them to their insurance policy at any given time. In most cases this is for relatives that are taking care of family members such as we are. A week later Little Edgar was on his way and he had Medi-Cal. This was such a relief and i am glad that this was finally taken care of.
No surprise that we are still waiting for the social worker to do our home study as they agreed to help us out. I have contacted her and told her that we now have Medi-Cal and we are just waiting on her. Our fingers are crossed and we hope to hear from her in the next couple of weeks.
It has been a month since we terminated our needs for our Lawyer. We have since received a itemized statement of the charges that they billed us for and I am shocked. Just for the little work that they did it still cost us $1500. The other thing is that it has been a month and we have not seen out remainder of our money. I think that this is sort of weird but i am sure that there is a reason.
I have been trying to add to this site and make it a better experience for all of us and I hope that you are enjoying it. If there are any comments or concerns please let me know so that I can correct it.
Hope all is well. I leave this post with the most recent Picture of the little man. He now looks so happy and finally a healthy little boy.
Well the Holidays are over and Edgar still is not legally adopted. There have been some things that Juan and I have been trying to gather and put all the pieces together so that we can make this process as easy and cheap as possible.
The first thing that we did is Juan and I got a letter form the mother stating that Juan and I are sole guardians of Edgar. This guardianship paper is just a notarized piece of paper as it is nothing through the courts.
The next step that we did is that Juan and I hired a lawyer and decided that we would need help from a lawyer to complete this process. After signing with the lawyer and then telling them more and more about the case the lawyer then wanted to talk to our social worker seeing that we had gone through most of the process already though the county. once all parties spoke to each other the social worker, Juan, and myself decided that this was something that could be completed on our own and that we would no longer need the assistance of a lawyer to represent us. There are several reason why this is the case. Some of the reasons is that now dont quote me on this but it is either the State of California or it maybe a federal law ( I am not to sure) but with Edgar being a relative of Juan the process should be a little easier and since the father is unknown we would not have to try to track down him or his whereabouts as only one parent in this case would have to consent to the adoption. This right there saves us lots of $$$ as we no longer will be required to pay lawyer fees and we should be getting our unused money back.
Another step that Juan and I have discoverd or came about is about the home study and the process with the county other than the courts.
Apparently once the petition is filed for the adoption we are required to take the paper work over to the Health and Human Services where they can begin their process. At this point they are suppose to charge us $4500 but only required to pay half upfront and the rest at the end. The problem that Juan and I were starting to get upset about is that we could not believe that they were going to make us go through all the hoops that we have already gone through and still charge us another $4500.
After pulling some strings and talking to some people Our social work finally agreed to continue on and finish our home study. This is great news as now we are going to be able to save more money. We still are required to pay for some part of the process but it is a significant price difference.
There are still some concerns and hoops that we need to jump through and we are trying to iron them out currently. One thing that comes to mind is the fact that Little Edgar has no insurance and if something would happen to him we might be in a world of hurt. I have since applied for Medi Cal and we are pretty confident that we are going to be able to get this coverage for him within a week or so.
This entire process is still a long way from being over but I am glad to be apart of it and really appreciate the support that all our friends and family are giving during this time.
We are not too sure of Edgars past but we tried to celebrate this Christmas as if it was his first. This year Edgar was able to meet with Santa. From the picture below I am not too sure what Edgar was thinking nor do I know if he understands who Santa is at this point. Edgar was really exited when we decided to decorate the house and put up the Xmas tree he even helped put some of the ornaments on the tree.
Xmas Day was kind of funny for Juan and I as we waited for Edgar to come out of his room and be shocked and surprised to what he had found. The funny thing is that we never really came out of his room as he just kept yelling for Juan and I. Around 10am I finally ran downstairs and yelled for him to come. Edgar Ran right past the trees not noticing all the gifts that Santa had brought. When Edgar come upstairs Juan and I both asked him if Santa had came to visit. Edgar replied “NOOO” 🙂
We then walked him down stairs for him to see the presents once again and then at that point he became very excited.
Below is a Picture of Edgar and Santa at a Breakfast with Santa we attended.
Well a month has passed and Edgar, Juan, and myself are getting into a routine that we are finally getting used to. Several friends have met Edgar already and they are just as excited as we are to have him in our lives. Some of our friends have even had a chance to babysit for a couple hours while the both of us had to work.
There are several things that we would like to mention that we think are key milestones of this first month adventure. The most ongoing event that we are trying to do is potty training. This task is very hard to do from what i hear and we also have heard that boys are the hardest to train. There have been many times that Edgar literary fights us to sit on the potty. Once we get him on the potty he ends up going with out any issues. Also it seems that he is really too lazy to tell us when he has to go as it seems that he gets really quite when he goes and then acts like nothing happened.
Juan and I really have no clue of the past history of this child but it seems that Edgar was never introduced to TV. Another hurdle that we are dealing with is that Edgar will scream and argue to eat or even go to bed because we wants to watch tv. We basically have bribed him to eat or he is not to watch any tv. On several occasions there have been times where he is at the table for over an hour before he decides to finally eat. The thing is that we know that Edgar is hungry and we know that he likes the food but he just wants to throw a fit. I think that he is finally getting it that Juan and myself do not play around and that we are not going to give into his crying.
The last thing that i am very proud of and i posted in one of my last post was about Edgar going to bed with the TV on. Since my post Edgar has done very well and we now read books at night and he enjoys the books and us both reading to him. Juan and I typically read a book each to him before bed. last night he actually asked for us to take him to bed and read to him. I was so proud of that moment and I am sure that there will be more moments that I will be a proud father.
Overall the last month has been a successful month as we seem to have a handle on things and I think that Edgar is a very good kid and just like every kids needs tons of love and attention.
Below is a pic that brandon took while he was watching Edgar for couple of hours while we had to work. Thanks again Brandon and Erald.
Not only a thanks to the Abshires but to the Jones’s, Morenos, and my mother and father for your support and help this past month. if i forgot anyone.. thank you too
I think that this video is amazing and I think that this guy is dead on.
Juan and I have come to a situation where we are not sure how to handle a situation. Let me just give you a little background of what is going on.
First Edgar came from a place that we are not sure that they even had electricity in the home. We heard that the home just barley got water.
The past week as we have been trying to comfort little Edgar we have allowed him to watch TV while he falls asleep. The problem is that there have been days that i have fallen asleep before him as he just does not want to shut his little eyes. The next day is not so bad but i just want him to go to be at a decent hour.
Last Night i put my foot down I suggested that we put Edgar to bed and not turn on the TV. Juan was very hesitant and said that we should do it slowly. I disagreed and told him that there should be no issue seeing that he had no tv where he came from.
Edgar cried for about 20 min and it made both of us sad. I feel that we did the right thing and he will eventually get used to it and will stop crying after a couple of days.
Like every parent i want the best for this child and I do not want him glued to the TV.
If anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it.
Well we got what we have been waiting for. We finally were able to bring a child into our home. Edgar is blood. He is Juans nephew and he is the cutest thing in the world. Edgar is 3 years old and seems to adapting very well to his new family as we have been adapting well as well for being new parents. We took him to the dr to get checked out to make sure that everything seemed OK and he is a healthy kid. Edgar is in the lower percentile of weight and height especially for his age but not to worry as we are planning on beefing him right up. 🙂
Yes like all situations there are some things that still need to be ironed out but time will only do that. Edgar ONLY speaks Spanish and I really do not speak Spanish at all. I know enough to get by but at times there is still issues with communication but again I have no clue of the background of this child and i am sure that all this is new as well.
Juan and I also enrolled Edgar in Daycare and he is actually going to the same sitter that Cameron and Cooper go to or have gone too. Stephanie seems to be doing a great job with him as again there might be a language barrier there as well but she seems to say that there is no issues with it at all which is good.
Everything seems to be going well and everyone is adapting nicely and i cant wait for whats to come.
Below is a picture of Edgar and Myself Feeding the ducks at the park
That is the lingering question of the day. Today has been really nerve racking and going really really slow. We have not heard much hence why i think this day is dragging and going really slow. I become very impatient at times like these as i get very excited. Today i am trying not to get to overwhelmed with excitement as i do not want to be disappointed if something happens. I hope Edgar gets here safe but hurries at the same time. I know it is about a 3 hour drive from where he is coming from and we have not heard anything yet so it will be at least 3 hours from now if they were to leave now.
I am going on and on so i am probably boring everyone right now but i thought i would just give a update on the status.
Since my last post there has been a lot going on. We are getting very excited but again a little stand offish as we can not believe that in a couple of days we could finally become Dad and Papi.
Juan and I have done some homework and we are still stuck in the middle trying to decide what route we are planning on taking. Monday we went to a guardian class that basically told us what we have to do and the cost that are all involved in becoming a legal guardian. In San Diego County and maybe the entire state of California t=it cost about $1000 to just become a legal guardian. Not to mention all the homework that is involved. There are alternative routes that we are mostly going to take while we are waiting for the adoption to finalize. Apparently the mother is able to sign a letter of consent and have it notarized and also have a affidavit saying that Juan and myself are legally in charge of the child.
This week we have also gone and tried to prepare as much as we can for this child. We went to Walmart and stocked up on all the essentials that one would have if they had children in the home.
My brother and sister-in-Law are also helping out as they are willing to let me go through their storage and pick what i think that is needed for this child. (Thank you Guys)
I know that we will never be prepared but i think that we are as prepared as we can be for this child.
I know thins is just the start of the battle to actually have the child adopted but it will be well worth it in the end.
Well days have gone by and weeks have flown away and we still do not have our completed home study as of yet. We are not sure what the hold up is or why it is taking so long but now there is something a little different on the offering plate.
In a nutshell we are planning on adopting Juans little nephew (Edgar) At first we will only have legal guardianship of Edgar but we are going to go through with the adoption process at the same time. The reason for guardianship is so that we can care for the child legally. We will be able to take the child to the Dr and any other place that might question our status.
At this point we are a little hesitant on the whole idea as it seems to good to be true. But we are really getting excited and really want to help this child out. There are other twist and legal issues that i rather not discuss at this time but i am sure that everything will workout especially if it was meant to be.
As our family and friends are worried about our hearts getting broken and we understand the risks that we are taking and if we are not able to adopt little Edgar but are able to change his life somehow i think that it will be worth it.
Attached is a photo of we hope is our soon to be son.
Nov 2, 2008