July 5th 2012 Edgar officially became a part of Juan and I’s little family. This moment was such a emotional time for Juan and I that we decided to fly to San Diego to finalize the adoption where we were able to celebrate the moment with all the people that we first started this journey with.
Adopting Edgar was an experience that Juan and I will never forget. The process was long and at times it was painful but we were able to pull through and in the end it was well worth it and Edgar will continue to be rewarding.
Juan and want to thank everyone that has ever supported us and was there for us when we needed them through this process. We are amazed by all the support that we have received and till this day strangers that do not know us thank us and are amazed on the fact that we are a gay family and we have beat the odds of being gay and having a family.
Well tis the Season of families coming together. On May 22, 2013 Juan and I officially tied the knot. We were able to celebrate in Jacksonville, FL with our family and friends. It was such a great ceremony and we are so happy of the turn out. While in FL we were able to do a little sight seeing as well. We were able to travel to Orlando and go to Disney World. Edgar had a blast there as he has been begging to go see Mickey and Friends. We were also able to visit the oldest occupied city in the nation. We went to St. Augustine. While in St. Augustine we took Edgar Horse back ridding. It was really nice getting out of the city and enjoying nature.
Although we were extremely exhausted we had a blast and it will be a memory of ours that we will never forget.
Once we returned from FL we had a letter in the mail waiting for us from the Courts in Sand Diego. The letter basically said that we were able to call and make a appointment to come and finalize our adoption of Edgar. Edgar was finally going to officially be our little boy. Even though our wedding was very memorable at that moment of scheduling that court date (July 5, 2013) was very joyful for Juan and I. We just had a sigh of relief.
That being said we have planned our trip back to where it all started. We are coming to San Diego and we are going to celebrate over the 4th of July weekend. We are so excited to not only see our friends that we dearly miss but we are so happy to be able to make this long journey a reality. If we had to do all of it over again I do not think that we would change a thing. We have learned a lot and Juan and I have became stronger as a couple making us perfect candidates to have Edgar as our son.
Anyone that is in the area on July 5, 2013 is more than welcome to come join us finalize our adoption at 3:00 PM at the San Diego Juvenile Court House (2851 Meadow Lark Dr, San Diego, CA 92123).
We want to thank ALL of our friends and family that have supported us through these awesome life changing events. We really appreciate all the support.
Since moving to Maryland we have been busy trying to get aquatinted to our new living situations. Finding a new daycare, finding new friends, adjusting to the time difference, and trying to finalize our adoption of Edgar. Edgar’s mother finally signed paperwork allowing us to adopt Edgar without any pain. Once she signed paperwork the ball started rolling again.
Once we turned in the paperwork that Edgar’s mom signed we had to tell our social worker from San Diego that we had moved out of state. She had a big clue that we had moved but nothing official had never been said to her. Once we told her we had to write up a court affidavit asking for permission to remove Edgar from the State of CA for move than 30 days. We also had to find and pay another adoption agency that would complete our “Post Adoption Home Visit”. Finding a company that would do this for us was fairly easy. However we had to have each party talk to each other so that the requirements were fulfilled per CA law. We also had to complete another background investigation for MD which was even more money. Edgar’s mother also had to fill out one other form that basically asked of the whereabouts of Edgar’s Father.
All home studies, legal forms, and background checks are complete and in good standing. However there is just a little block in the road now as the social worker from SD informed us that a PO box for the father was found and that they were sending out a letter and checking to see if there are any responses. We have asked Edgar’s mother if she knew of any PO Box and if she had any whereabouts of Edgar’s father and she knew nothing about his whereabouts so there should be very little worry about finding his father. This is not confirmed but i think that once the letter from the social worker has been sent out we think that the father has 30 days to respond.
On another note being in MD the law for same sex couples has changed since Nov and Juan and I are now able to get married. Juan and I have decided on May 22nd 2013 to tie the knot. We will legally married in MD but we are having the ceremony in Jacksonville, FL. Many people are wondering why on a Weds and not on a Fri or Sat. There is a special reason for the date as both of my siblings were married in May. My Sister was married on May 20th and my brother was married on May 21st. May 22nd will be Juan and I’s big day. We are both very excited to finally be married and we get to have a dream wedding on the beach.
It seems that our little family is finally becoming legal and legit. It feels so good knowing that 2013 will or atleast should be the year that the Jones family finally comes together.
Its that time of year again and we are all getting ready for the holidays. This year for Thanksgiving Edgar and i traveled 7 short hours to Lancaster, OH to visit my friends and family. Juan was not able to attend as he is in the retail business and had to work extra long hours in preparation of Black Friday and the Holiday season. The day we arrived was my 10-ish class reunion. I was encouraged to bring Edgar along however by the time we arrived he was not having it. Edgar was exhausted and wanted to go back home with grandma and grandpa. The class reunion was very nice. It was nice seeing all the people that i used to hang out with and still keep in contact today on Facebook. I felt welcomed from my classmates as they wanted to know more about my family situation and I received several complements on how proud people were of Juan and I for doing such a brave job and adopting Edgar. I could have not felt more proud as a father and a gay parent.
Thanksgiving was a time to catch up with family members and continuing all the Thanksgiving traditions that I have missed over the years since I moved to CA. I was truly blessed to have been able to bring my new family to the table and continue these traditions.
Also during our visit I was able to go to the OSU campus for the Michigan and Ohio State game. I spent the day with my two awesome cousins Angela and Clark and Clarks wife Nicole and of course the Buckeyes stomped Michigan 🙂 OH!!!
Once Edgar and I came back home we began our own traditions and started putting up our Christmas decorations. Edgar quickly became very excited. This year we even started a new tradition. Juan and I introduced Edgar to the Elf on the shelf. Edgar named the Elf Mono which in Spanish means either Doll or Monkey. For this purpose i am sure that he means Doll. At first Edgar wanted to touch Mono until we read him the book and explained that he was not able to touch him. So every night before bed he tells Mono that he was a good boy and tells him what he wants Santa to bring him (Its soooo cute).
I have a feeling that this year Santa is going to be nice to Edgar because he is/was a good boy.
Grandma Rosa was able to vist us for about 2 weeks. We all were happy to have her here and glad that she was able to come. It is too bad that she was not able to stay for Xmas but we had fun while she was here. I especially loved her cooking.
Grandma and Grandpa Jones are not able to make it in time for Xmas but they are coming for New Years. So this year we are going to Aunt Marty’s house to be closer to family and celebrate Xmas together.
We hope that every has a great and safe Holiday season.
Two weeks ago Juan received news that his Grandfather had passed away. Juan felt that he needed to fly back to Mexico to pay his respects as his grandparents raised him for several years while we was growing up.
After the funeral Juan was able to spend some time with his mother and see some of his other family members before he had to head back home to Maryland. While Juan was back in Arizona he was able to meet up with Edgar’s mom and get her to sign the long awaited paperwork that would give up rights to him and basically give them to Juan and myself. Juan did not tell me right away but when he got home he surprised me with the great news.
I have been under a great deal of stress since moving here to Maryland as I am not very happy and i have a lot going on. Juan waited to tell me the news for when he got home because he knew that this news would really make my day. Not only did it make my day but it really cheered me up and I am so much happier now because there was some doubt in my mind that i was going to loose Edgar or just have to go through Hell getting him legally ours. I do have to thank Edgar’s mom for giving us the chance to have a child and that she knows that he will have a great life now that she has made the right choice.
The next step is a little unclear at this point because The social work told us that the next step would be a final home study. Well there is a little issue with that…… We Live in Maryland now 😦 We still need to make sure that San Diego will do all the paperwork and everything before this is final.
I am solo Happy now that we actually are almost there and we have a beautiful boy that is healthy and full of Joy.
WHEW…. I know it has been awhile and it probably feels like that we feel off the face of the Earth. Well lots of things have been happening as you all know.
The long awaited month that Juan (Papi) was gone is over and we have finally found a nice quite neighborhood here in Maryland. We are now living in a city called Silver Spring. For the past 1.5 months we have been living in corporate housing in Gaithersburg but it is finally nice to have a place that we can call home ( Well until we are able to return to San Diego)
As expected from all of our classes Edgar suffered the most from all the confusion. First Edgar was once again separated from someone that cared for him. The month that Juan was gone there were times that Edgar did not want to talk to Papi and he would begin to get upset. It would take either several min or hours for him to want to call Juan and often times he wanted nothing to do with him.
The next thing that Edgar had to deal with was once the movers came and moved all of our stuff Edgar was now without most of his toys. We were only able to pack so much of his toys to take with us. Once we found a home and they delivered all his toys he seemed that he was in heaven. We were informed in dome of our classes that children often have separation issues and one way to cope with it is that they horde things such as food and or toys. So for the first couple of night like he did when he first came into our home he slept with every single toy in his bed.
Yet another hurdle Edgar had to adjust to is day care providers. First we were forced to remove him from a great daycare in San Diego ( Mrs Stephanie) and then once we got to DC we got a temp daycare which was just as good as Mrs. Stephanie but as I mentioned it was just temporary. He is now in a i guess you could say another Temp Daycare as we are waiting for the child development center on base to have an opening for him.
All in All Edgar has always been a great loving child and is adjusting better and better each day. He even has a girlfriend at this new day care that he follows around all day.
This blog is not about all my gripes and complains so i am not going to comment on how i feel about being here in MD but I just have to day that i am happy to be closer to family however I am counting down the days until we are able to return to San Diego.
Today as many may know is fathers day. I am proud to be a father as I am sure that Juan feels the same. Most of all I am sure that Edgar is happy to have us as parents. For a first fathers day I wish it would have been more story book like but I am just happy to be daddy. Being apart from Juan on a day like today makes me sad. I am sure that Juan feels alone and misses Edgar.
Often times there are things in our life that we decide that we need to make a huge change in order to make a difference in our our careers. With that being said Juan has been promoted and has been relocated to Bethesda MD. Juan will be working at a brand new store and it will open new doors in his career. I told Juan that I would support any decision that he decided to make and he chose to move.
The NEX has agreed to move our entire family at their cost. I think that I would have to decline the move if this was not the case. I am super excited that we are moving closer to my family as I really do miss them. I think that that my sister my become closer as we have had a little falling out over the years so I think that this will be good. The things that I dread about moving is all my friends that we have here in CA and of course the SNOW. I hate the snow and IO thought i would never have to deal with it again.
So Tues Juan moved from San Diego to MD and Edgar stayed with me. We are not moving there until mid July. Last night we got a dose of what separating a child from a parent that is a huge influence in their life. Last night Edgar seemed upset and was throwing a fit when we tried to Face time with Juan. It was really sad and I didn’t know what to do. We ate dinner and we called him back and Edgar seemed to be much better. We have been telling Edgar that Papi is at work and we will see him soon. I feel really bad for Edgar as he has been separated several times through out his life from his family and I know that in less than a month we will see Juan again but at Edgars age I am not sure that he understands.